Is Your Company a “Dilbert” Company? – 25 Reasons Your Customers Hate You

Some companies seem to do everything right. And others, well, not so much. Does your company fall into this second group? Is your company a “Dilbert Company?” Check the list below to find out. Do your customers love you, or do they hate you?

1. Your website takes so long to load because of all the Flash animations about things no one cares about that your Customer forgets why they came to your site in the first place.
2. Your website Navigation is so vague and convoluted your Customer constantly gets lost.
3. Your Customers must sign in before they can place their order, but your Script doesn’t recognize them as members.
4. When your Script doesn’t recognize them, they attempt to create a new account, whereby your Script says they are already members.
5. Your online order entry page is so confusing it’s difficult to place an order.
6. Every mistake in filling out the online order form forces your Customer to begin the form all over again from the beginning.
7. Your Web Scripts are not W3 compliant so when using the “wrong” browser your Customers lose everything in their shopping cart, and must start all over.
8. You Customer Service Contact page is hidden so deeply it can only be found by accident.
9. When your Customers call Customer Service they must navigate so many menus and sub-menus that they repeatedly get lost or caught in loops—usually both— and must phone back several times before finally arriving at the place they were trying to find in the first place.
10. Upon final arrival the recording says they must talk to a live representative at a new phone number.
11. Not having pen and paper ready, the Customer must spend another 15 minutes going through the Menu Gauntlet again to finally arrive at the place to write down the number for Live Support.
12. After waiting another 20 minutes on the phone for Live Support, it turns out the Support person really can’t help the Customer after all, and gives them another phone number to call—the original number with all the Menus.
13. You “offer” Priority or 2 Day Air as the only shipping choices.
14. You ship each item separately, charging new shipping & handling fees for each item.
15. You ship the wrong product, then force your Customer to pay return shipping.
16. You take a month to ship a replacement, but your replacement product is still wrong.
17. You ship your corporate Customer’s order way before the Contract delivery date so you can show it on your Books as a Sale for this Quarter. They must refuse the order and ship it back to you at their expense.
18. Your automatic telemarketing computer calls your customer and then puts them on hold.
19. You pester and hound your Customer until they finally order your hot new product. After waiting a month they contact you only to be told the product is on back-order and won’t be available for another 6 weeks.
20. Your Salesman pesters your Customer for an appointment, and then doesn’t show up.
21. Not only does your Salesman not phone to cancel, but shows up unscheduled the following day, at the worst possible time.
22. When your Customer walks in the door needing assistance there is no one on the floor.
23. When your Customer walks in the door wanting to browse, your Salesmen pounce on them like sharks tearing at raw meat.
24. Your unemployed Customer can’t afford your product because you have outsourced their job to a third-world country.
25. As a result of the habits listed above your company goes belly-up, and you don’t ship the orders still on the books, leaving your few remaining Customers with a huge loss.

I have personally experienced everyone of these, and I’m sure this list only scratches the surface! Feel free to add to the list with a Comment in box below.